Maybe I burned off a sip of soda??

Well hopefully this all comes together and make some sort of sense at the end. Even if it doesn't I am downloading all of my crazy thoughts so that perhaps I can sleep soundly tonight- until of course, Carter wakes up to eat...

Seriously, just many random thoughts. I'll begin with- I had a nice weekend. I enjoyed most all of it. I spent some nice time with my guys, had some family time. Today was particularly nice- I actually had the chance to have a conversation with Rob. Grant it, I skipped a much needed nap but it was worth it. Did I mention that this evening Braden and Joce decided to run around the backyard without diapers and Braden couldn't resist the urge to squat and poop in the yard?? I didn't even look and thankfully Rob was around to do the clean up. Therefore I kind of chuckled and managed not to get annoyed. I guess in the end it's kind of funny. Or maybe funnier that my mom wasn't satisfied with simply hosing down the area, she busted out the Mr. Clean.... if you know my mom, it didn't matter that it was outside and that she probably has animals pooping in her yard all the time.

Then there's the guilt. Seriously. I'm not sure that there's one more thing I could manage to feel guilty about. Is it a mom thing? It's something like this- I'm tired all of the time, I should get to bed earlier but the evening is the only time that I really have to do MY things (whatever that means!) so I go to bed late, then in the morning i'm tired and feel guilty that i'm tired and short with Braden. So I pull myself together so I can have some good, memorable times with Braden while in the back of my head I'm praying that naptime comes quickly. Ahh but how terrible, so i feel guilty. And of course I feel bad because I think Braden feels bad because he is no longer the only child. I'm the one of course that brought this new addition into the world and he's so little and doesn't understand that one day he'll truly love his brother and appreciate the fact that I went through terrible labor to make sure that Braden had a best brother- i'm tired just thinking about it! Oh but wait, geez louise is that Carter crying? Gosh, I forgot that he was downstairs in the pack and play sleeping soundly but is probably hungry! Oh thank God, it's naptime. It would feel so good to take a nap but I should go over the bills, straighten up, AND of course...excercise because afterall this baby weight is not going to just disappear. But I nap because even after three cups of coffee I can't keep my eyes open. But oh the guilt..... anyone, anyone does this happen to you? It must :)

Oh and yes I am tired tonight. But I decided to take a weak approach at a workout after Rob suggested I go for a run (I couldn't muster up the energy to be annoyed or accuse him of calling me fat. I decided to smile and pull my sneakers on and be glad that he was encouraging me to do something that I did decide I wanted to do, sigh). But after pretty much forcing myself to walk on the treadmill- I was still tired, but now I was sweaty and tired and annoyed that I only walked. But I guess it's better than nothing...maybe I burned off a sip of soda.

:)