Changes.

A couple of things have changed since the last time I actually blogged on here. I won't bother with reasons or excuses why i've been MIA… But one of our more recent changes here in our family had a couple of people mentioning that I should blog and share about our experience through this. At the very least it'll provide a place where I can jot down some memories or things I may otherwise forget! Here it goes.

So we did it. After thinking about it and praying on it for quite some time we decided to go ahead and pull the boys from public school and start homeschooling. This wasn't an easy decision for us, particularly for me. Once I had really confirmed the desire to do it, it was difficult for me to move past the fear and anxiety and the weight of it. If you know me at all you know that I struggle with imagining all of the worst case scenarios. I think that I also had a lot of the concerns that most people would have: what if I hate it? what if they hate it? can I really be around my kids all day long? I mean, am I even qualified to do this?! If I'm completely honest probably one of my biggest worries in our decision to do this was how I would explain it to people. What would I say to people when they asked what teachers the boys got for the new year? What if someone was really rude? What if I didn't have the right answer when someone asked me why or how? Here's the thing though- making the decision, actually say "Yes, I want to do this" was the hardest part! Once I said yes, much of the anxiety dissipated. Yes, I still had anxiety, yes I absolutely still worried, but it was different. And now here we are- three weeks in and we are doing it. We are doing it! Every day has been a little bit different, we've experienced quite a plethora of emotions in these three short weeks and I may have already questioned my sanity once (seriously, just once!), I  know there will be bumps, I know that this is one of the hardest things I will ever do, I know there will be days where we love it, others where we don't but isn't that just a part of life anyway? So this morning as many of my friends and loved ones posted the first day of school pictures, I sat on the couch with my babies and we did our history reading. I thanked God that he gave me the courage to say yes and that I have the opportunity to do this right now. Because all I have is right now and today I want to try my best to live with few regrets.