Fave.

Last night someone asked me what my favorite part about homeschooling was so far. I typically hate questions like this because I like time to really think about my answer but I was able to come up with an answer pretty quickly. Honestly there are a lot of things that I'm enjoying about homeschooling right now- more things than I imagined that i'd actually enjoy. When considering homeschooling, I probably focused more on the things that I thought I would dislike or struggle with than considering the things that I would enjoy. This probably gives you a window into my natural, very human way of thinking.  So anyway, my pretty quick but honest response was watching the relationship develop between my boys. Before homeschooling they did spend time playing together and got along ok but they were definitely reaching the point where a lot of their differences in personality and play were being highlighted. I think that we may quickly assume that kids are different, that siblings will fight and that this is normal. But after just 8 weeks or so of spending time sitting together, learning, reading many of the same things I have witnessed their relationship blossom from the big brother, little brother relationship to that of friends. It has been so heart warming to wake up on a Saturday morning and find them sitting down stairs wrapped in blankets in pjs just chatting and giggling together. To watch them play and imagine outside for hours at a time. To see things change from more of a comparative/competitive mindset to a together is more fun. Don't get me wrong, they are still very different, they still argue and get on each other's nerves but they have definitely developed a new respect for each other and I find this to be invaluable. The relationship between siblings, between brothers is something that cannot be replaced with any other relationship. And even if there were no other things that I was enjoying or that we were gaining, seeing their relationship strengthened with time spent together is enough for me.



 

When Your Emotions Lie.

We just finished up our third week of school. Although we had started a couple of weeks ago this was our first week where we included all of the subjects. I wanted to start off slow so that we could get adjusted to school at home and we could all get a feel for how things were going to go. Our first week we worked on Math and Language Arts, last week we added Science and this week we went all out. I loved the transition and think that this is an approach we would take again. After having a busy summer it was a great way to ease into a more structured routine. We've had some great times with Art already from molding clay to just using plain old water colors to illustrate a narration. We've also had the opportunity to spend the day at a farm, play in the mud, explore, fish and the boys have even gotten a couple of rounds of golf in with Daddy and Papa. I think we're off to a good start… And you know, its funny that I say that and that earlier this week I was feeling confident and great about the progress we've already made. I had a couple of really good conversations with some folks about how the transition was going for us and feeling less intimidated by the idea of "explaining" our new choice to people. Then out of the blue, it hit me. It was strange because it was almost as if I felt the switch go off, I feel the energy drain and suddenly I was overcome with anxiety that we weren't doing enough. I had been going through a conversation I had with someone in my head, I was replaying some of the things I had shared and then I started to question myself. Many of the fears that I had experienced before making the decision to homeschool came flooding back- what if I'm doing it wrong, is it possible that they are actually picking up and understanding the things that we are talking about, do I need to include more "busy work", are they enjoying this so much because this is just too easy and therefore not effective and like "real" school? I sat in it for awhile. I got on my phone and started searching and looking for ideas and then I remembered. I thought back to a couple of key verses that I felt like God had given me when we had been praying about our decision. One of them was Isaiah 41:13 For I the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, "Fear not, I am the one who helps you." I reminded myself that I can't rely on my feelings, sometimes they lie to us. It's my job to evaluate, its ok if its not perfect (it won't ever be), its ok if we have to make changes, no one else is going to be more concerned about the education of my children than I (and Rob of course) will be. I also remembered that in the book Educating the Wholehearted Child by Clay Clarkson he mentions that "Your influence in your children's lives is not derived from how smart you are, but rather from how committed you are to becoming all that you need to be in order to help them become all that God wants them to be." It's been a day or two and although I still feel the waves of uneasiness I am reminded that God promises to be with us during this journey. We are not doing this alone and Christ is holding my hand. I'm certainly thankful for that and ready to move into next week with a renewed perspective.

Changes.

A couple of things have changed since the last time I actually blogged on here. I won't bother with reasons or excuses why i've been MIA… But one of our more recent changes here in our family had a couple of people mentioning that I should blog and share about our experience through this. At the very least it'll provide a place where I can jot down some memories or things I may otherwise forget! Here it goes.

So we did it. After thinking about it and praying on it for quite some time we decided to go ahead and pull the boys from public school and start homeschooling. This wasn't an easy decision for us, particularly for me. Once I had really confirmed the desire to do it, it was difficult for me to move past the fear and anxiety and the weight of it. If you know me at all you know that I struggle with imagining all of the worst case scenarios. I think that I also had a lot of the concerns that most people would have: what if I hate it? what if they hate it? can I really be around my kids all day long? I mean, am I even qualified to do this?! If I'm completely honest probably one of my biggest worries in our decision to do this was how I would explain it to people. What would I say to people when they asked what teachers the boys got for the new year? What if someone was really rude? What if I didn't have the right answer when someone asked me why or how? Here's the thing though- making the decision, actually say "Yes, I want to do this" was the hardest part! Once I said yes, much of the anxiety dissipated. Yes, I still had anxiety, yes I absolutely still worried, but it was different. And now here we are- three weeks in and we are doing it. We are doing it! Every day has been a little bit different, we've experienced quite a plethora of emotions in these three short weeks and I may have already questioned my sanity once (seriously, just once!), I  know there will be bumps, I know that this is one of the hardest things I will ever do, I know there will be days where we love it, others where we don't but isn't that just a part of life anyway? So this morning as many of my friends and loved ones posted the first day of school pictures, I sat on the couch with my babies and we did our history reading. I thanked God that he gave me the courage to say yes and that I have the opportunity to do this right now. Because all I have is right now and today I want to try my best to live with few regrets.

First day.

We made it through our first day of preschool! Not only did we make it but it went well. There were no tears, Braden was a very excited, brave boy who walked in to his room with little hesitancy.
Carter was very sad not having his big brother around but he had some things of his own to worry about... Carter had a first too. His first day of no bobo (what he calls his pacifier) unless he is sleeping in his bed. We had a rough patch this afternoon with some intense screaming but we pushed through!
Proud of my boys today and cannot believe how quickly they are growing!

We're starting school.

In just a few short days my oldest baby will be starting preschool. I'm having very mixed feelings. I know that he is ready and many days I feel ready too but I am also so sad. I cannot believe how quickly the last four years have flown by. Luckily, he'll only be gone three days a week for just a few hours!

Tonight we had a little bit of a "We're starting school" dinner party. Braden and Joce got to wear crowns (that I totally threw together last minute), a silly string fight, some yummy food and we had cupcakes with special wishes to end the night.

Reminded of how blessed I am to be home with my boys.

the cape.

on vacation this week. loving life with our family. the boys are having a blast and mommy has gotten some time to relax. life is good :) feeling blessed.

Last week.

I usually have my phone and almost always take pictures of my boys and everything that we do. This is our week (last week) in photos. I intented to post last week but had a malfunction with my phone and computer, oops. Better late than never, right??

B showing me how to catch frogs!

Family game night. No tv or radio. So fun.

superhero mask?

we got to spend some time with Gabby last week while Joce had swim lessons.

Love her.

The boys and I love to make smoothies. One of our 'things' for this summer is to make and try all sorts of new fruit combos for our smoothies!